Horoscopes
by Ohjazzy
Summary: Bulma reads her and Vegeta's horoscopes.


**A/N: Yet another little fic written from boredom. The idea came from wondering, if we knew the actual birthdays of DBZ characters, what their signs would be. I'm not a firm believer in horoscopes but this was amusing to write. I hope it's also amusing to read :P Set sometime (earlier) in the three years.**

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It was a lazy Saturday morning and Bulma was lounging in the kitchen with her second cup of coffee, browsing through one of her mother's silly women's magazines. It was her day off and she'd already caught up on all of her own engineering and technology magazines, so she was left with this trashy nonsense to entertain her until she found the motivation to get up and do something productive with her time.

She was currently reading a page containing stories about various women's sex mishaps and giggling to herself as she curled up further into the window seat. She hadn't even noticed when someone else joined her in the kitchen until Vegeta noisily pulled out a chair at the table, practically dropped a plate down in front of himself and then proceeded to stuff his face with food.

Bulma glanced at him briefly, before returning to the ridiculous story she'd been reading. She continued to giggle and snort her way through the rest of the humorous tales, until finally, Vegeta growled loudly in annoyance.

"Would you shut up for five minutes, woman? Take your obnoxious laughter somewhere else!"

The grin Bulma had been wearing turned into a sneer as she snidely replied, "My house, Vegeta. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, _wherever_ I want!"

She then flipped the page as noisily as possible, feeling Vegeta's eyes burning holes into her skull and pretending not to notice. After a moment, he resumed eating and she began skimming through the horoscopes. Once she found her sign, she read through her predictions and advice for the month and gave a loud, sarcastic, "Hah!"

Vegeta's irritated gaze was on her again and she looked up at him, rolling her own eyes.

"Sorry, _your highness_," She muttered, knowing that nothing irked Vegeta more than having his title mocked and she caught the slight twitch of his left eye as he glared at her, quickly hiding her smirk behind the magazine.

This type of interaction had basically become 'a thing' between them; seeing who could irritate the other more. Whoever got the other's temper to flare up first won, and it certainly looked like she was in the lead today, which was nice for a change. With a contented sigh, Bulma dropped the magazine into her lap again, going over the different horoscopes, when she suddenly became curious.

"Hey, Vegeta?"

The Saiyan looked up to the ceiling in exasperation, dropping his fork to the table before practically hissing in reply, "_What?_"

Unperturbed by his disgruntled mood, Bulma went on, "When is your birthday?"

Anger turned into confusion as the prince processed her question.

"My what?"

"Your birthday. You know, the day you were born?" She said obviously, before something dawned on her. "Oh, wait… You probably had a different way of keeping time in space than we do here, didn't you?"

Bulma frowned thoughtfully, before looking back at the Saiyan and asking, "Could you correlate the day you were born on your planet with a date on Earth?"

Vegeta's face almost looked pained with the mixture of irritation and bewilderment it was expressing.

"Why the hell would I?"

Bulma shrugged, turning her attention back to the magazine with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"Yeah, I should have known it would be a little too difficult for you to figure out."

Vegeta gritted his teeth together, knowing damn well that she was trying to trick him into doing what she wanted, but loathing the implication that he was too stupid to do simple math. When Bulma peaked at him from the corner of her eye, her lips curled into a victorious smirk as she observed him staring thoughtfully down at the table, his jaw shifting as he did his mental calculations. After several minutes, he finally answered, "It would have been the ninth of November here."

Bulma smiled triumphantly as she ran through the different signs to find the one that matched his date.

"Ah, a Scorpio! It says you are dynamic, secretive and passionate."

She smirked at him and Vegeta stood, wearing his characteristic frown as he walked around to where she sat, looking over her shoulder at the magazine.

"What is this nonsense?"

"They're horoscopes," Bulma explained. "Some people believe the position of the planets can tell us things about ourselves and our future, based on our births."

Vegeta let out a rare laugh, though it was harsh and sarcastic.

"You humans are ridiculous."

"I never said I _believed_ in them," Bulma answered defensively. "But they can be amusing, and sometimes they can be surprisingly accurate. See? Gemini's are fun, curious and witty. I'd say that sums me up pretty well."

Vegeta scoffed. "They forgot insufferable."

Bulma stuck her tongue out at him, before she turned back to the magazine.

"_Anyway_, my horoscope basically says I'm going to hook up with an unlikely lover and have plenty of steamy sex for the next several months."

Vegeta made a face at her and she laughed, "What can you really expect? It's Cosmo. I hope they're right, though. With Yamcha out of the picture I've been having quite the dry spell-"

The tips of the Saiyan's ears turned red at her over-share and he quickly cut her off.

"Enough!"

Bulma simply chuckled before continuing her reading, "Okay, Scorpio's horoscope… Your path of achievement will take time to clear before Jupiter delivers the goods, and your biggest and best success in years will finally become a reality. Something or someone must be eradicated before you can progress, but you most certainly will."

Vegeta stared down at the magazine, looking unimpressed.

"Do people really believe this tripe?"

Bulma grinned up at him, amused by his predictable reaction.

"Some people, yes. Most of us realize how vague they are and take them with a grain of salt. But who knows, maybe yours is right. Maybe in your case, it's referring to your ascension into a Super Saiyan."

She had meant it jokingly, but Vegeta found no humour in her comment, glaring down at her in a way that made her momentarily worry that he had actually been offended. She was just about to backtrack and assure him that she really did believe he would achieve his goal, when he scoffed and turned away from her.

"Tch. I don't need anyone, let alone a stupid magazine, to tell me what I already know."

And with that, he stalked out of the kitchen, most likely heading to the gravity chamber to resume his training toward said goal. Bulma watched him leave with a small smirk that expressed the strange fondness she had recently developed, before shaking her head and returning to the magazine.

The following page contained relationship predictions between the various astrological signs and she almost flipped passed it before her curiosity got the best of her. With a quick glance around to be sure Vegeta was gone, Bulma's eyes flicked back to the page and she began to read about the compatibility between a Gemini and Scorpio.

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**A/N: Okay, even if you don't believe in horoscopes, read the love compatibility between Gemini and Scorpio on astrology(.com) because it is hilariously accurate for Vegeta and Bulma hahaaa I think I picked the right signs for them xD**


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